Why I No Longer Make New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions

vs. Intentions

We made it! We are in a new year and of course, with every new year comes the much-anticipated but often dreaded RESOLUTIONS.

For many of us, it’s become a dirty word. A negative word. Something that conjures up having to drag yourself to a gym to undo all the damage you did the last few weeks of the previous year. (Or years, depending on your current health/weight situation.)

Last year, as I went into 2016, I shucked any and all resolution making. Instead, I focused on INTENTIONS.

It worked so well that this year I am doing the same thing. Only, I learned something last year during my intention making.

I learned that intentions are only a piece of the puzzle. It is not the whole picture.

Let me explain.

I literally hated every fiber of my being and it showed. I was grossly overweight (235 lbs on a 5 ft 2-inch person is NOT healthy — at least for me) and I spent nearly every moment thinking negative thoughts about myself.

And I do mean nearly every moment. I wouldn’t even look myself in the eye in the mirror. The hatred, disgust, guilt, and shame was too much to bear.

But shortly after the new year started, something clicked in my brain. Almost instantly. It’s a feeling I cannot describe. But what happened was like a switch turned on and all of a sudden my thought was, “This has to stop. No more hating yourself, no more negative thoughts, no more bullying! STOP!”

And I did.

“How did you stop?” you might ask.

I made an intention: To love myself, accept myself, and forgive myself.

“How did you start loving yourself and treating yourself better? Isn’t that selfish?”

Not at all.

If you don’t take care of yourself — mind, body, spirit — who will? No one else can do it for you. Only you have the power to change you and it starts with a thought.

Everything begins and ends with your thoughts. You’ve probably heard the saying, “What you put out into the world comes back to you.”

Well, what do you think thoughts are? They are energy. Energy that goes out into the Universe and tells the Universe this is the reality you want to create, and it moves heaven and earth to make it happen for you.

So, if you’re thinking negative things and your life is one big negative $hit storm, hmmm, maybe there’s a reason for that.

“What did you do to change?” you might ask.

I took a simple step.

I went to the mirror, looked myself in the eye and (as silly as it sounds) I said,

“I love you. You’re beautiful. And you are worthy of more than everything you have been doing and saying to yourself. You have been your own worst enemy your whole life. For nearly 40 years!! How’s that been working for you? Why not try being your best friend for a change and see where that gets you.”

It was hard. I’m not gonna lie.

I wanted to look away. But I held fast.

I felt silly. But I said the words anyway.

And I repeated it every day. When a negative thought entered my mind I quickly attacked it with a positive thought.

Before I knew it, I felt more positive, more loving, and more accepting of myself. I started dressing in bright colors whereas before, I wore mostly black. I started wearing red lipstick when I never wore it before. I started eating healthier without restrictions and guilt and all those things usually associated with “New Year’s resolutions” and by the end of January 2016, I lost 6 lbs without much effort at all.

Other things began falling into place that I’d struggled with such as my website relaunching and rebranding, and a new logo and direction for my business as I figured out what I was (what I AM) meant to do.

I felt lighter.

My heart felt lighter.

My mood felt lighter.

And I began to feel the confidence to move forward and continue the intention-setting journey I’d begun.

Because you see, intentions mean nothing without action.

Consistent action.

I consistently, and diligently, continued to love myself, forgive myself, do things for myself that helped me to then almost automatically love, forgive, and serve others.

And that’s where the idea for this blog came into being. I wanted and still desire to help others (like you, perhaps), to learn to love and accept who you really are — a creative being — who has a purpose here on this earth.

And to not only love and accept who you really are but to find and fulfill your creative purpose. It literally makes my soul sing to help you help yourself.

As 2016 moved forward, my weight began dropping off. I became a mindful eater instead of mindlessly eating. I became an intention setter with action instead of wallowing in self-pity and expecting the worst that could happen.

I became radiant, youthful looking, and light-filled. At 40 years old, 50 lbs lighter and a grandma of three, most people now assume I’m in my late 20s/early 30s.

It’s a blissful, and blessed, feeling.

Me and my grand twins (as I call them!)

But it’s not all been perfect. Far from it. The year still had its challenges.

One of them was financial. My biggest client suddenly had issues paying me and the income my family depended on as a supplement to my husband’s income was gone — almost seemingly overnight.

I was angry, frustrated, and unsure what to do next because I was also helping with my grandbabies — watching them while their mother worked.

But by then, I was also reaching burnout. Well, actually I WAS burned out. I just didn’t know it at the time. So right around my 40th birthday in September I found myself without work. I have a few other clients but the work and pay are minimal and sporadic.

You see, I had given my ALL to this one client because the work was fulfilling and aligned with my intentions and creative purpose. It didn’t feel like work.

But, not getting paid began to dim the brightness of the job. Empty and broken promises of payment caused it to go even dimmer until there was nearly nothing left.

I spent the rest of 2016 in a state of deep contemplation and burnout.

I was in an “in-between” state of being.

My client was (and still is as of this writing) going through an ownership change with the expectation of a new owner taking over now or within the next few months.

So I was in this constant state of worry, flux, uncertainty, doubt.

What do I do?

Where do I go from here?

Do I get a job somewhere full time?

Do I take on more clients?

What do I do? (And on and on it went.)

See, I was stuck. I could take on more clients, but then my work could start back up again with my past-due client and then I’d have overbooked myself.

But, if I did nothing at all and just waited things out, then how would I pay bills?

Ultimately, after much time in prayer and meditation, my intuition told me to wait it out and be patient.

Being patient has never been my strength.

But now it would have to be.

And so I spent most of October, November, and December in deep contemplation, meditation, yoga, writing, thinking, pondering about my situation, about my life, about where I wanted to be and how I was going to get there.

I “intended” to do a great many things. My website launched and I had alllll these blog posts written and ready to just plug in and go. But I didn’t do it.

As I continued to heal and connect spiritually all creative endeavors stopped. Not because I wanted them to, but they just did. (It wasn’t until much later I realized I was creating. I was re-creating myself!!)

I did SO MUCH READING my brain and eyes hurt by the end of each day — absorbing as much as I could about the spiritual things I was discovering.

Oh, I wrote a little bit here and there and posted a few times on my blog or social media. But I wasn’t consistent.

In fact, I was feeling quite rebellious.
I just didn’t want to do it.

I was sleeping in later and later. I was totally engrossed in reading everything I could get my hands on about esoteric and spiritual subjects and nothing to do with business. I wasn’t looking for work. I wasn’t doing a lot of things except resting my body, mind, and spirit.

But as 2016 was coming to a close, I realized I was heading down a dark path if I didn’t change direction. The sabbatical was over and it was time to get to work doing SOMETHING.

And almost like magic, what I intended came back to me.

I realized unless I put action behind the intention there was no way I was ever going to accomplish my goals. There was no way anyone would ever see or read my words. That the message I have to share with you and others like you would never get out.

So I set my 2017 New Year’s Intention, which is this:

I am giving my gift wholly, lovingly, fearlessly, energetically, intuitively and abundantly to all who seek it and using my writing talent and business acumen as the tools to do so.

“What is your gift?” you might ask.

I’m still refining it as I go on this journey.

But ultimately it’s to help others transform their lives and their businesses from where they are now to where they want to be.

So, how do you want to transform your life or your business?

Where do you want to be — in six months? In a year? In three years?

Who do you want to be?

Why do you do what you do or believe what you believe?

Take some time to reflect on these questions, write down your answers and meditate over them. Feel the results you desire.

And don’t be surprised when you start seeing those questions answered in your life. 🙂

Love and light,


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